


Swept Away

by starrylitme



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Dubious Ethics, F/F, Insecurity, Internal Conflict, Rule 63, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 04:11:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4165320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>What was I going to do in a situation I shouldn’t have been in—shouldn’t have </em>wanted<em> to be in—all because <strong>I couldn’t resist her</strong>?</em></p>
<p>“Hinata-san! Let’s go to the ocean today!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swept Away

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write f/f HinaKoma so that's what I did. I actually got the idea from the kink meme which listed "girly Komaeda and tomboy Hinata" but I didn't follow that completely.
> 
> I ended up venting instead. Sorry. I've never actually written GL before so this is kinda new?? And weird. It's really kinda weird and experimental. Again, I'm sorry.
> 
> I want to write them again, but considering the ideas I have... Things will only ever get worse... Huh...

_She couldn’t have been more different than me in appearance, with a thin, bony frame and long white hair that matched the pallor of her complexion. She always smiled too, serenely, and without a care. I appreciated that as much as I envied her for it. But part of me was on edge around her, even as I was drawn in closer and closer. She really was too carefree and I worried...I couldn’t help_ but _worry..._

“Hinata-san!”

_What was I going to do in a situation I shouldn’t have been in—shouldn’t have_ wanted _to be in—all because **I couldn’t resist her**?_

“Let’s go to the ocean today!”

* * *

“Hinata-san!” A pale hand rose, stark against the endless blue of the sky, and the owner was laughing from what Hinata could hear, despite the distance and the shifting of the waves carrying the girl along, “Are you sure you don’t wish to join me? The ocean’s amazing!”

How Komaeda could shout and not sputter from getting salt water in her mouth was anyone’s guess but Hinata preferred to just yell back, “I’m fine, Komaeda! Just focus on yourself! Don’t drown!”

“I’ll be fi—!!” and then sputtering, and that hand and head of long, lush white ended up going under as a wave crashed into her, and Hinata just shook her head with a sigh, crossing her arms tightly against her chest, over the white shirt she continued to wear even with the black bathing suit underneath. Komaeda insisted she at least change into that in case she changed her mind.

Which wasn’t happening. She had no desire to swim. But if it pacified Komaeda even a little...

...Komaeda still hadn’t come up for air.

“Komaeda?” she called out, and her stomach dropped when there was no response nor Komaeda in sight. She wasn’t even thinking as she kicked off her flip-flops, threw off the fabric tied around her waist, and broke into a run, not bothering with her shirt. “ _KOMAEDA_!!”

* * *

She wasn’t a strong swimmer, but somehow she had managed to find Komaeda, diving under and grasping onto a thin arm and pulling her up. It wasn’t too far out so it wasn’t that deep, even more thankfully, and Hinata led Komaeda to shore, Komaeda limp, but light against her, with Komaeda’s arm pulled over her shoulders.

When they were just at the edge, waves brushing up against just a little under their knees, Hinata had to sit down, shaking Komaeda to make sure she was fine—and the other girl coughed out water before gasping and...

Hinata sighed, relieved. And that would have been the end of it had not her eyes wandered down and noticed—

Komaeda’s long hair fell over two small mounds, a merciful cover when Hinata could see no trace of a bikini top in sight. Hinata slapped her hand over her mouth, blushing furiously as Komaeda slowly looked down, drearily registering the feel of her bare skin—her _bared breasts_ against her hair, and exhaled, lowly, “Oh.”

_I should go back and fetch it._ Her brain was working at a mile per minute despite being physically frozen in place, hand hard-pressed against her mouth and face feeling unbearably hot under the beating island sun. The island heat—it’s making her crazy at a time like this and she... _But I can’t just leave Komaeda topless on the beach—what’s going to happen if someone comes?! What if that someone is Saionji? Souda? **Hanamura**?!_

Komaeda just crossed her arms for cover, humming. “Well, this is unfortunate. But it’s preferable to drowning.”

_And of course she’s unaffected as ever. Urgh. Wait._ “My... My shirt...” Hinata managed, unbuttoning her top. “I’ll just lend you my shirt while I go get...”

“...Hinata-san, surely you aren’t serious.” She was, but faltered once she saw the weary stare Komaeda was giving her...chest? Hinata looked down, and nearly panicked once she realized that having been soaked through, said shirt was shamefully transparent, revealing the dark swimsuit underneath and shit even if Komaeda wore it, it’d just stick to her skin and still expose—“That’ll just make things worse.”

Hinata felt like screaming, covering her face so that she didn’t and shaking. But Komaeda, as unaffected as ever, went on cheerily and calmly, “I’ll use the beach towel for now. It’s fine. I’ll tell Usami and maybe she can fetch my top later—hopefully sooner though, because it’d be terrible if it washed up and ended up picked up by one of our classmates, don’t you think?”

“...Yeah...” she could agree to that, at least, and Komaeda simply giggled.

“Hinata-san, will you protect me as I get back to my cottage? I hate to ask so much of you after you saved my miserable life, but...”

“Just stay close.” The response was immediate, Hinata snapping up to meet her gaze directly, even with her face still embarrassingly red. Komaeda just smiled, and Hinata’s sure it was the heat causing her stupid heart to skip a beat.

* * *

There were a few things she vaguely remembered—and one of them was her ridiculous habit of staring at other girls. Even here, trapped on this damn island, Hinata couldn’t help but stare, especially at Komaeda—peppy, cheery, oddly-dressed with her green coat, plain white shirt sans the red line design, and mini-skirt doubled with boots and stockings, Komaeda, with her long fluffy hair tied up in a high ponytail, the texture almost reminding her of a curly rabbit—an  _actual_ rabbit not the stuffed toy cutesy whatever that Usami was.

Komaeda, who was especially friendly with her which _aggravated_ her to no end, especially since Komaeda was wishy-washy and all over the place, and this could very easily mean nothing to her. Or hell, it could just be normal ‘growing up’ and just fizzle out like most weird teenage hormones do, but honestly that just...

That was even more _frustrating_ , as immature as it was, and Hinata hated it.

But she didn’t resent Komaeda, of course not, she just didn’t want to be jerked around for what the hell ever reason under some bizarre societal set pretense of ‘growing up’.

She was never that much like those girls she couldn’t help but stare at—she preferred pants and shorts to dresses but liked the sight of them swishing around hips and legs, she hardly ever wore makeup but thought it looked so nice on them, so delicately painted and refined at times, and she strove to be more athletic, as such, often having to wear tight sports bras to bind down her embarrassing chest. Even the swimsuit wasn’t flattering on her ridiculous, awkward, and stocky figure. She envied Owari for being so at ease with her body type—but it was hard getting used to it herself.

It was aggravating, she remembered, and was especially aggravating now that she was here, named a student of the school of her dreams, on some weird bizarre island without any memory of her talent. Even if it was all good-natured chores along with relaxation and not something maddening like being driven to kill each other or something, Hinata still felt her aggravation—swirling and bubbling until it threatened to boil over and she’d lose it.

...And that was why she stuck close to Komaeda, who could calm her so easily with a smile and a laugh, dispel her thoughts with those thin arms wrapped around Hinata’s own, and fill her with something _else_ —even it was something that also frustrated her for a different reason, it distracted her, and she preferred to be distracted. She’d rather like getting sucked in to the peaceful camaraderie of the island, wariness about the bizarreness and her lost talent to the wayside, and her heart at ease.

Though it was really hard to be at ease when Komaeda was pressed to her like always, but with that towel wrapped around her chest, and the knowledge that just one tug could send it tumbling down wasn’t helping at all.

Not at all.

* * *

They couldn’t get to Komaeda’s cottage quicker. And that would have been the end of it except...

“Hinata-san, how about since you’re here, you can use my shower after I’m done? It’s the least I can do to lessen the burden I’ve put on you!”

“...What?”

“I also asked Usami-san to put a fridge in my cottage to store some drinks—I have juice! It’s the least I can do to thank you!”

“Uh.”

“But if you want to just leave because you’re sick of my company, well, that’s okay too, but I just wanted to...” And that kicked puppy look, oh Hinata could never _stand_ kicked puppy looks.

“It’s not like that.” And she spoke so damningly quickly, damning herself further with each following word. “It’s fine. I...I don’t mind.”

She did. But with the way Komaeda beamed and led her inside, Hinata ended up unable to correct herself. So here she ended up. On the floor of Komaeda’s cottage—though Komaeda insisted the bed was fine, Hinata refused because she’s not getting salt water everywhere—wrapped in her own towel and listening to the slightly muted, soft humming sound coming from Komaeda, accompanying the rush of the shower.

She should stop thinking about it—except the situation escalated to the point where she _couldn’t_ stop thinking about it, about Komaeda stripping down completely, pulling her hair back so that her front couldn’t be obscured, about the water running down and tracing the lines and curves of her frail frame—one that Hinata had already ogled when she saw Komaeda in her swimsuit in the beginning, the fabric white against her already wispy pallor, hair allowed to fall freely along her shoulders and back rather than its usual ponytail... And the first time Komaeda had rushed into the ocean, getting herself and her hair wet, she had pushed her fringe back from her eyes, her gray-green eyes almost seeming to glow, and for a second then while she was inviting Hinata to join, Hinata had vaguely thought of her as something unbearably ethereal—otherworldly.

And she had also thought about those stories of sirens—who lured sailors to their death with their singing, drawing their victims closer until they ended up pulled under and drowned.

It was ridiculous to compare Komaeda to creatures like that—though the girl could be eerily morbid at times, she was ultimately harmless and companionable at others. Either way, Hinata had always felt...safe, for the most part, in her company. Though now...

Now, the situation felt dangerous. She shouldn’t be here, this is bad, very, very bad, and she should just change her mind right here and now and just tell Komaeda that she’s...

“Hinata-san!” There was still a musicality to Komaeda’s voice, and betraying herself further, Hinata glanced towards the shower, where she could see the other’s shape, her silhouette, and god, it was blurred so she couldn’t see everything, but she still wanted to—“Ah, why don’t you make yourself at home, at least? Drink some juice or—you can borrow a book... I have a wide selection on the bookshelf, feel free...”

“You have...” Hinata did look at the shelf, and then her tone dropped as she noticed the collection of bottles all bunched together in the corner, “That’s a lot of pills...”

“Don’t mind those!!” Komaeda’s voice got almost shrill, the laughter sounding near panicked. “I-I’m sorry, Hinata-san, I’m a really terrible host! Feel free to leave if you really can’t stand it!!”

“It’s not like that,” she muttered, sighing. “I just...” Staring at them again, Hinata couldn’t help but swallow. She wasn’t going to get close enough to read the labels on each one—no, that’d upset Komaeda for sure—but the sheer number was worrying on its own. She couldn’t help but think of all those commercials for medication, and the long litany of unpleasant forewarnings that’d run across the bottom of the screen. Thinking of Komaeda, with her chipper face and rail-thin frame, was starting to make her stomach crawl.

_Side-effects may include dizziness, nausea, aches, and heightened risk of strokes, cancer, and possibly even death—_

“Komaeda, are you doing alright?”

“Mmm?”  Komaeda hummed, and though Hinata was stubbornly keeping her eyes away from the other’s silhouette, she could just feel Komaeda’s stare directed towards her with those wide curious doe eyes that she was so prone to. Her skin prickled at just the thought. “That’s such a sudden question, Hinata-san.”

“Well, are you?” she repeated a bit impatiently. “Be honest, Komaeda.”

“Eh? Eh? Are you insinuating I’d lie to you, Hinata-san? Oh no! That’s not how I mean to come off at all!”

“Not lie, but...” Hinata ran frustrated fingers through her damp hair, irritated with the salt she could only barely brush out. “You do understate how things affect you a lot of the time... You always brush it off, saying it’s not something worth worrying about and that—that’s wrong, you know? If something’s wrong, you should say something.”

Komaeda didn’t say anything at first. She didn’t say anything for a while, and just as Hinata was starting to worry that her classmate may have ended up out of it after all, her voice rang out, surprisingly low and cool, “It’s interesting that _you’d_ say something like that so bluntly, Hinata-san.”

_...Huh?_ Hinata froze, body going abruptly cold to the point she was all too aware of how awkwardly her clothes and salt clung to her skin. It was all itchy. Uncomfortable. And that feeling wouldn’t go away even if she tore her own skin off.

She didn’t even register the squeaking of the shower knob as Komaeda twisted it off, calling to her, “It’s your turn, Hinata-san. I’ve taken long enough.”

Hinata swallowed. _No, it’s fine. I’ve been here long enough—I can go shower in my own cottage, thank you for having me, Komaeda, it’s fine..._

“Yeah... I guess...”

Tap. Tap. Tap. Drip. Drip. Drip.

“Hinata-san?”

Mutely she looked up, at Komaeda smiling at her kindly, towel wrapped around her as before, damp white hair framing that delicately curved face. It was hard to believe that tone of voice and this smile came from the same person, but she’s not even surprised anymore. If anything, she’s already exhausted, even as she perks when Komaeda laughs, “Ah, there should be hot water for you, if you’re concerned. See, I took a cold shower, so...”

Komaeda was shivering, and it must be through sheer will her teeth weren’t chattering. Hinata felt her eyes sting at this realization, and she nodded weakly.

“Thanks, Komaeda.”

* * *

_Tap. Tap. Drip. Drip._

The spray was warm, far warmer than the ocean had been. It usually was, and she almost could have fooled herself into thinking this shower may have in fact been hers if not for the fact that Komaeda favored a different shampoo and conditioner. They had the same soap, and all showers were designed the same, but...

The shampoo seemed to be generic, like hers, but with a floral scent as expected for most girls to use.  The bottle was a pleasant shade of pink, even if she couldn’t help but think of sakura mochi, and also had a fruity hint to its smell. She had picked this scent out on Komaeda on the first day on the island, when Komaeda stuck close to her side after helping her up. She spent an uncomfortable amount of time thinking about it.

She’ll apparently spend even more time thinking about it for days to come. Especially if she’s going to use the other girl’s conditioner too.

Hinata never really used conditioner often—her hair was thin, short, so it wasn’t a general concern but...

Komaeda’s hair was long and thick, in lush locks that could fall to her waist. _Beautiful_ —and so _soft_ when it had accidentally brushed against Hinata’s arm or side—she could imagine Komaeda caring for it delicately, running a brush and her fingers through it and then smiling _her_ way, _inviting her_ —

_Komaeda really is pretty, isn’t she?_ She thought blankly, staring dully past the bottle in her hands to the water pooling and sinking through the drain. _She’s really pretty. She’s stunning._

Even though she’s too _thin_ —thin enough you could **_crush her so_ easily**—

Hinata lathers her hair with the shampoo, nose pinching up and eyes shut tight as she raked foamy fingers through her strands. She made sure she was thorough before rinsing, and the sweet-smelling shampoo tasted sour on her tongue when she impulsively licked her lips. Her skin was prickling all over again.

_She really bony, isn’t she? And lanky. Bruises so easily. Not much in terms of curves. Not much at all._

**_“There’s not much to me. I’m really not much to look at.”_ **

_And yet._

Hinata scrubs her skin hard enough that it’s rubbed raw and her eyes too are sore from getting soap in them.

_It suits her so much. She’s never once_ looked _uncomfortable. Always smiling that calm, calming smile._

By the time she’s turned the spray off, her breathing is heavy.

**_She’s so stunning._ **

* * *

It’s a pain that she still needs to wear her bathing suit, but in the very least her shirt had since dried so she doesn’t have to look at her figure for that long. She’ll definitely change completely once she gets back to her cottage. Thankfully it isn’t far but...

Being alone made going outside like this all the more daunting. But how stupid would she looked if she asked Komaeda to accompany her that short of a distance? Sure, Komaeda wouldn’t turn her down but she’d probably still at least think—

Hinata shook her head furiously, getting water droplets everywhere before drying her face with the towel, trying to keep herself from shaking.

_It’s not a big deal. It’s not a big deal. I can just ask Komaeda after all if it is. It isn’t though. It’s not._

**_...Right._** Hinata patted down her hair some more to remove that last bit of excess water before exiting the bathroom. She took a deep breath as she twisted and pushed the door open, and... “Hey, Komaeda? I’m going...”

She stopped dead when she saw Komaeda lying on the floor, white strands splayed against the carpet and wooden panels, obscuring her face and whatever expression she could have been making, that frail frame curled around the legs of the table in the middle of the cottage. She was still only in her towel.

“Komaeda?” the brunette wondered, before the shock hit her in full force and she shouted, “KOMAEDA?!”

She practically scrambled to get to the other girl, taking her by the shoulders, careful to not hit the table—even though she accidentally banged her leg against it and ignored the surely swelling bruise to focus on Komaeda—and she saw how gray-green eyes fluttered open, “Komaeda, are you alright?!”

“Hiii...” And then Komaeda yawned, returning her worried bugging stare blearily. “Hinata-san? Aah, sorry, I... I feel asleep...”

She was lucky Hinata sighed in relief rather than get irritated as hell. “Don’t scare me like that. I was about to go running for Tsumiki, and then...” she trailed off, realizing with a sense of déjà vu that in her concern, she neglected to notice the towel falling open, once against revealing a pale front. Except this time her hair wasn’t _entirely_ in the way. “Damn it, Komaeda, you should have put something on before taking a nap. And that nap should have been on the _bed_.”

“Ehehe!” Komaeda giggled cutely before pulling the towel over herself cheerily. So unaffected by the situation when Hinata was beyond glad the words came out steady as her face burned red hot. “Sorry, Hinata-san, it must be unpleasant having to see such an ugly thing more than once due to my incompetence.”

“Ugly?” the brunette echoed, perking up, hazels widening as she noted Komaeda clutching the towel tighter, despite that smile remaining as light as ever. “H-Hey, Komaeda...”

“I already know what an eyesore I am, Hinata-san,” Still with that calm, calming smile on her face, Komaeda went on, “It’s shameful, isn’t it, that I’m still not careful in spite of that. By now, I must’ve disturbed you, or in the very least made you uncomfortable. A _ah_ , the last thing I want is someone like you being perturbed by someone like me!”

“Isn’t that overdoing it?” _She’s pretty, isn’t she?_ “I-I mean, it’s a mistake. Big deal. The first time wasn’t even your fault, Komaeda, and if you had been feeling dizzy and if that’s why you had to lie down—” **_Side-effects may include..._** “Well, then, that’s not your fault either, so don’t worry about it. I’m not...”

_Disturbed. Perturbed. No..._

“Not...disgusted...or anything like that.”

**_She’s pretty, isn’t she...?_ **

“Hinata-san, you’re so kind. But...” Her head cocked to the side, her smile brightening just a bit more. “That’s _wrong_ , you know? If something’s wrong, **_you should say so_**.”

“Nothing’s **_wrong_** ,” Hinata defended, but it sounded weak to her ears to the point she almost winced. Komaeda’s smile shifted to sympathetic, and the brunette felt a shiver go up her spine at the sight. “I-I mean it, Komaeda, when I said not to worry about it, I mean it...”

“Of course you do,” she said, and it would’ve been condescending if she didn’t sound so serenely _sincere_. “Because Hinata-san is kind and she doesn’t _want_ me worrying. But as I said, that’s wrong, Hinata-san...”

She was leaning in close, even as Hinata tensed, her shaking beginning to worsen. Her smile turned sadder, then more coaxing. “You need to say something if it bothers you. Otherwise it’ll be bottled up until you feel like you’re going to burst. That’s unhealthy, Hinata-kun, and for someone like you, it’s beyond undeserved. You’re someone special, aren’t you, so when something’s gnawing at you, you mustn’t hesitate to overcome it.”

_Someone special? Komaeda said that about all the SHSLs. They’re special. They’re above everyone else, including herself, because all she has going for her is **luck** —_

And yet.

_I don’t even know what makes me special...what makes me different from Komaeda in that regard, other than her apparent luck..._

“Hinata-san, it’s really bothering you, isn’t it?” Were those gray greens starting to swirl around? Despite everything, Hinata found herself fixated, even as Komaeda got more and more eerily excited, “If a worthless nobody like me can help a special heroine like you, then I’m all for it, Hinata-san! Let it all out; I don’t mind at all! As long as it helps you, makes you better, then there’s nothing I won’t take with a gracious smile—”

_She’s **really** pretty._

The table jerked, scraping against the carpet unintentionally. The towel shifted a bit before fluttering to the floor. The sunlight filtering through the windows was bright yet warmed the room.

Komaeda was soft and cold, yet she couldn’t imagine her lips as anything but sweet against her own chapped pair. They certainly were pliant, even as she pressed harder into the kiss, fingers stroking that delicate jawline, tracing back to those still damp, but a bit fluffed up white tresses.

Even though this girl still felt so chilly against her, Hinata felt heat flush through her body as she tugged the other close. Her fingers ran so easily through those slightly wet strands, the curve of her jaw fitting nicely into her palm.

She didn’t know exactly when but at some point she had Komaeda pinned to the ground, hands pressed against the floor with a head in between, blinking those doe eyes up at her. Wide. Exposed.

_She’s stunning,_ Hinata thinks, and her eyes roam that petite form that those snowy locks can only barely cover. She already knew so many nuances from earlier, like the slimness of her shoulders and the protrusion of her ribs and collarbone, with just as bony hips yet with rounded, plush thighs and legs. Her breasts were small, smaller than the swimsuit made them look, with nipples more pink than brown. She had only had a fleeting glance up until now and it was so... **_Cute._**

Komaeda’s face is adorably flushed too, and Hinata can’t help but kiss her for it. Once. Twice, before diving in and making the white-haired girl let out an endearing noise that incited the brunette to go further.

“Hi...” A soft little gasp puffed against her mouth. “Hinata-san...”

Hinata met her stare, met shimmering pools of gray-green, and stared at the pink of her cheeks, the fluttering of her white lashes, and the lilac of her parted lips. _She’s so pretty, isn’t she?_

She really was. She was stunning, especially splayed underneath her, demure and so receptive. So open to her and her desires. So open. It was like a dream.

_Open. Like a dream._

**_“...otherwise it’ll be bottled up until you feel like you’re going to burst...”_ **

This is the part where she needs to wake up. It’s gotten too far already— _she’s pinning a naked girl down while only in her shirt and bathing suit_ —she needs to stop. To wake up. **_After all..._**

“Hinata-san?” Komaeda wonders, perking up confusedly, but still lying down with only a hand reaching towards her face, stopping a scant distance away. “What’s wrong?”

Everything about this is wrong. It certainly _feels_ wrong. It feels like she’s caught between endearment and envy and there’s no way it’s normal. Something like this—if it’s supposed to be fleeting and juvenile, then it shouldn’t hurt like this. It’s wrong. She’s _all_ wrong.

Hinata’s face still feels hot, but her eyes are stinging, sight starting to blur and she’s painfully aware that those tears trickling down her cheeks must be plopping onto Komaeda’s fingers, streaming down her thin hand. She snuffles, the sound wretched and no doubt ugly, and because she can’t hold herself up anymore, she lets herself fall, face buried into Komaeda’s shoulder as she shakes and sobs.

Komaeda doesn’t hold her at first, just awkwardly lying still with her arms wavering and hovering uncertainly over. It must have been awkward for her. She probably had no idea what the hell was going on because none of this was normal—and Hinata knew she must have messed everything up badly.

Komaeda’s body was so soft and cold against her own. Finally at some point, she felt thin surely tentative fingers running through her short brown hair. Yet it just made her breath hitch and made her flinch as that hand pulled back. It was as much of a relief as it was a crushing disappointment.

“Hinata-san...” Her voice was light, gentle enough that Hinata almost settled a bit, even if she really didn’t want to. “It’ll be alright you know...”

Hazel eyes flickered open, and she stared at the shadow of the other’s clavicle along with faint freckles she hadn’t yet noticed decorating that slim shoulder. Komaeda went on cheerily.

“After all, Hinata-san is SHSL! So you’ll pull through, won’t you?” She blinked hard. Her eyes still hurt. But Komaeda still sounded so bright. “You’re a very capable person, Hinata-san, you need to have more confidence in yourself. Ah, but of _course_...”

Those thin fingers started playing with her hair, with the cropped ends and the hairline on the nape of her neck, with Komaeda’s voice lowering as she turned just a bit more towards her ear, “If you need to use me for relief, then I don’t mind that either. You know, right, Hinata-san, that I’d do _anything_ to help, right? So if it’s just stress, then just let loose; I’ll accept you _graciously_.”

Hinata breathed in the scent of salt and that floral shampoo. She had to smell the same, but at the same time, she really wondered. Despite the wrongness of the situation, she was still intimately close, skin to skin in the case of their legs. Komaeda was still so pliant, despite that wrongness, sighing when Hinata nipped at her shoulder, and letting her head loll back as the brunette trailed up her neck. The cold track of drying tears itched.

Shakily, Hinata pushed herself off. Komaeda blinked up at her curiously, a little questioningly—innocently, and that hard lump the brunette swallowed was all the more suffocating as she managed to pull herself completely away.

“Ah, Hinata-san,” She heard Komaeda shuffle, probably sitting up, maybe even reaching for her, “So, are we not...?”

“It’s not as easy as you make it sound.” Hinata found herself saying, forcing herself to stand on shaky feet as she crossed her arms tight. “What happened—it wasn’t normal. Definitely not. I messed up. I lost myself. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Komaeda returned sweetly, and then she could feel the brush of thin fingers against her shoulder. Immediately, the brunette jerked away. “Oh, Hinata-san.”

“Komaeda, what exactly do you think of me?” Slowly, she hesitantly turned to the other, noting that Komaeda had remembered to pick that towel back up, holding it in front of herself. Hinata forced herself to not dare think past that.

But she did. She already now knew all too well what that body looked like behind that towel. “Am... Am I pretty?”

“Yes. Hinata-san is quite charming.” Komaeda’s smile slipped so easily across her lips like those words slipped so easily from her mouth.

Hinata’s stare narrowed, frowning lips twitching. “You’re not just saying that?”

She shakes her head simply, still beaming. The brunette took a step closer as she continued, “Honestly, I’m honored you seem to hold my opinion in such regard. You’re wonderful, Hinata-san—”

Arms sprung around her shoulders, pulling her back into Hinata, into her warmth and embrace, and she paused in talking, trailing off. Hinata was hugging her tightly against herself, that towel tucked between them, as Hinata sighed heavily. “Komaeda. You really make it look way too easy.”

“Aah... Ah, huh?”

“Exposing yourself.” That circle of her hold tightened just a bit, and she glared at the shelf against the wall, where that bunch of bottles still lined it. “You know what I mean, right? That... That was the wrong way to word it, I know that, but please...”

“I do, Hinata-san.” Komaeda didn’t sound amused not did she make the usual quip about such a thing. She sounded calm, and Hinata would’ve relaxed in any other situation that wasn’t like this. “But... You should know it’s because it doesn’t make a difference when it’s someone like me. Even if something happened, I’d get out of it fine because of my luck...”

“What about now? When you’re vulnerable.” Hinata’s hand hovered over that bare back, lowering enough that her skin tingled at the proximity alone prior to contact. She very nearly brushed her fingers along the base of that stuck out spine, over the swell of her rump, and the brunette swallowed before forcing out. “With _someone_ like me.”

“If it’s someone like Hinata-san, then I don’t mind at all.”

“You’re not just saying that.” Komaeda shook her head, and to that, her chest tightened, teeth gritting as she couldn’t help but force out a pained, frustrated noise. “I’m _hopeless_ compared to you.”

“Oh, no, don’t say that!!” the other exclaimed frightfully, shaking a bit and almost flailing. “Hinata-san, you mustn’t think that way! It’s wrong! It’s completely wrong!!”

“Komaeda.” Komaeda stilled, being pulled closer, a hand running down her hair, and Hinata stared until she noticed the camera, pointed at the two of them. It had been all this time and she’d forgotten up until now. Bristling, she turned to murmur into those white tresses, “Is that the only thing wrong about this?”

“Mm.” With that sound of agreement, Hinata shut her eyes tight before tugging the other away.

* * *

The draperies of the bed closed with a swish, the light dulled in the area once the window curtains were pulled tightly together. She still felt that bristling, but turned to Komaeda all the same, slowly unbuttoning her shirt to toss it to the side.

Komaeda looked at her, but while she was curious, there was that innocence to her air again, one that had Hinata inhaling as she shifted out of that shirt and undid that dark bathing suit top.

“Komaeda,” The fabric fell onto the sheet, and Hinata did all she could to keep her arms low over her stomach as she met the other girl’s gaze, keeping herself steadied even as her breath hitched when those gray-green eyes flickered down before moving back up, scrutinizing. The brunette swallowed, asking, “What do you think...?”

Komaeda smiled simply and fondly, appreciatively. “You’re beautiful, Hinata-san. I really am lucky, SHSL Lucky, you could say!!”

Cheekily. Clearly trying to lighten the mood.

_With that calm, calming smile on her face..._

Hinata wet her lips before forcing out a smile of her own, a giggle that sounded a little too hysterical escaping her lips. “I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you...”

_What do I really want? This? Her? I can’t resist having either—_

“Hinata-san.” She perked up at having Komaeda crawl up to her, looking at her demurely from beneath those snowflake lashes. In a low amount of light, she stood out all the more with her porcelain pallor, and in the air around her, there was something eerie yet enchanting. Her gaze was bright, despite that supposed shyness, and the slow motion it took to reach that pale hand towards her bare shoulder was more deliberate, less sheepish.

“Hinata-san, you really are pretty...” Her voice lowered, her gaze falling plainly on the brunette’s chest, and Hinata was sure her pulse was fluttering like a panicked moth under such a stare. “I’m a _very_ lucky girl, aren’t I?”

“You don’t have to say that twice...” It was embarrassing as it was gratifying, and Hinata took that outstretched hand, pressing it to her waist. Safe, but still intimate like this, and with Komaeda still smiling, it was a relief the other girl wasn’t disappointed. It gave her a bit more courage to ask, “What do you want to do, Komaeda?” _After all, I don’t even know anymore._

“Worship you,” Komaeda murmured, settling her other hand on Hinata’s waist as well. Hinata seized up, eyes wide, and the words registered slowly as the other girl continued, “It’s the least someone like me can do for someone like _you_ , right? Hinata-san... Can I?”

Her heart was pounding. Her thoughts were barely coherent, just a mixture of emotions and images—recollections of blurred together other girls, faint whispers all around, her own distorted reflection as she stared and stared—finally just Komaeda, brilliant even if expectant, and waiting for her response.

_I’ve never been looked at that by anyone before... Not like I was someone...special..._

“K...Komaeda...”

_Someone who I’ve been looking at for a while now—looking at me like this... When I still don’t know her too well—I can’t even guess everything she’s thinking, but if... If she really **wants** me..._

“S-Sure.”

_How can I refuse someone I can hardly resist?_

Komaeda’s smile widens, and she pulls herself closer, Hinata pulling her closer as well, and almost as if by magnetic force, their lips brush together almost immediately once the distance is closed enough.

“Hinata-san,” Komaeda whispers sweetly against her, Hinata’s eyelashes starting to flutter, “Please let me worship you.”

Her eyes shut tight as she lets herself fall into Komaeda’s soft touches, in those soft lips trailing down her skin. **_Please do._**

* * *

It’s impossible to forget this is Komaeda’s bed and not her own when she’s staring straight at those gray curtains, and when Komaeda is curled up behind her, feet barely brushing against her calves. She’s still buzzing, still blushing even, from what happened, and of course the other girl sleeps soundly and serenely as ever.

There aren’t any marks on either of them, but Hinata almost wished there were. It might have solidified the encounter—made it so that it never could have been mistaken for a dream. It certainly felt like a dream.

_“You’re so beautiful, Hinata-san...”_ Komaeda’s sigh had felt like silk against her skin, the tone coated in reverence. It felt _right_ , she wanted to think. But part of her wondered even still.

_It was indulgence. It had to be. That’s a bit..._

**_Impertinent, isn’t it?_ **

_That’s the word Komaeda would have used if she didn’t insist..._

She still didn’t understand her as much as she would have liked. Even now, close and in _bed_ together, still _nude_ , it still felt like there was a distance between them that was daunting to dare cross. There was still a distinct feeling of _off_ to the whole affair that gnawed at the back of her mind like something rotting.

_...Some of the things Komaeda said... Is that really alright? Are we both doing this wrong?_

“H-Hey, Komaeda,” Hinata started, brushing her leg back to get her attention. She felt Komaeda shift, and swallowing before steeling herself, the brunette asked, “Are you still asleep? I... I can’t...relax so easily...”

Komaeda sighed. But it was a soft, sleepy sigh, followed by incoherent mumbling before shifting some more. Hinata stared hard at that sliver of sunlight filtering through the crack between the curtains before tugging the fabric over. When she managed to flip over, Komaeda had her face partially buried in the pillow, hand curled close. It was endearing. Exasperating with the realization that Komaeda was really still sleeping and Hinata didn’t have the heart to wake her.

_She really is cute..._ Her smile twitched and she considered reaching out for that hand. She almost did, barely brushing her fingertips to those pale knuckles. It was a bit cool—Komaeda always was a bit cold, but there was a sort of strange comfort to her in spite of everything. That reliance on Komaeda that came so easily those first days hadn’t been completely deterred by the occasional crack she’d seen. But, perhaps, she hadn’t been seeing them as much as she was overlooking them.

Komaeda had been warm at the time. Comforting all the same. She whispered all sorts of sweet nothings, and Hinata fell for each syllable. Her smile was that same calm, calming quirk, the one she always liked... Their hands had, at the time, fit so well together. Too well.

This time, Hinata decided against it, pulling her hand away and staring blankly at the other serene girl lost in another world while she was firmly rooted and grounded in a cold reality.

_What the hell am I **doing**?_


End file.
